Josephs, L. (2018). Am I sexually desirable? Fidelity and infidelity as proof of mate value. In L. Josephs, The dynamics of infidelity: Applying relationship science to psychotherapy practice (pp. 113-131). Washington, DC, US: American Psychological Association.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0000053-006
This chapter argues that threats to mate value inevitably threaten attachment security. It is difficult to feel securely attached to someone who is inclined to have sexual or emotionally intimate relationships with romantic rivals because those rivals possess superior mate value on certain dimensions. Sexual betrayal is traumatic because infidelity is simultaneously an attachment injury that undermines secure attachment and an injury to one’s sense of self that undermines self-esteem. It is difficult to feel securely attached and maintain self-esteem when one may lose the loyalty of a desirable partner to a romantic rival who appears to possess qualities one lacks. The components of self-perceived mate value is addressed. Mate value is explored from the perspective of romantic chemistry. Sexual exclusivity as an expression of irreplaceability is discussed. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2017 APA, all rights reserved)